|Violent J's Weekly Freekly — 2003, July, 31st|
Well yall, itís all out now. The Green Book, my book, my Wizard of the Hood EP and everythang. This year's Gathering came and went by almost perfectly. I say almost because there was so much drama and stress in finding the place. After last yearís, nobody would have us. NOBODY! But as usual, the Carnival prevails. It went off so much better than I could have ever possibly imagined. So so SO many ninjas said "thank you for this," that it was crazy. The truth is, we owe all the thanks to my brother Rob and his staff of ninjas. They did it all. They found the place, set it all up, went threw 1,000 obstacles with the city and shit and completely freaked it. Me and Shaggy didnít do shit but basically show up yall, thatís the truth. My brother Rob needs some kind of award or reward or something fresh, because the fact is, as where my life stands today, that was the greatest weekend of my entire life so far. Flat out, for me, this year's Gathering out did last yearís and all of them. It out did them all for me. It was absolutely the closest we'll probably ever get to a Juggalo Shangri-La while we're all still alive. Hopefully next yearís will be in the exact same place. There were no arrests, no problems on the grounds at all (that we heard about). One kid got his foot ran over by a truck and another kid had an asthma attack while swimming, but thatís it. Both them things happen in everyday life anyway. Not fuckin' bad for 5,500 people and 4 days and 4 nights. There was all the weed you could smoke, all the titties you could suck, all the partying you could do, all the cheeseburgers you could eat, all the shows you could watch, everythingÖ right there. Everything went so smooth because nobody was up our asses. There wasnít one cop on the grounds. Not one, except for the crew of off-duty cop/Juggalos smoking down with us that we met at one camp site. For me, I never even went back to the hotels. I stayed right on the grounds all four days and nights. I cleaned my ass with baby wipes and wet naps, gangsta style. I was stuck there in freshness shock. I gotta admit something to all yall. It's really really scary how well we mesh together as ninjas. No drama, nobody was hungry. Everybody was always right there with whatever you needed.
Every night we drove around the huge ass grounds on golf carts, sometimes in a convoy sometimes alone. Sometimes all of Dark Lotus would be out together riding around. I canít believe how creative and fresh Juggalos are. Club Chaos, in the Chaos District, was a big ass tent set up in the woods complete with strobe lights, party lights and a fresh ass DJ keepin' it Hatchet all night. Juggalos set that all up on a campsite! We never even had a Gathering outdoors like this one, so the ninjas that were responsible for setting up "Club Chaos" didnít even really know what they were getting into and yet they still brought all that shit and provided for the others. They pulled it off fresh as helly. There were actually a couple more little nightclubs set up throughout the grounds like that. I saw everything. I went around them grounds so many times and still never learned my way around. By the time our concert came Sunday night, I had lost my whole voice from being up for 4 days, screamin' to Juggalos while drivin' by on carts, smoking blunts, and babbling my fuckin' ass off to everybody that listened. The funny thing was, on the last day, as we did our seminar, half the ninjas there asking questions had no voice left. Then Alex walked in to say whatís up and even he sounded like a zombie when he spoke.
For those who missed the Gathering, I wanna take a time out to tell you a little story that I told at one of them seminars... This ainít got anything to do with nothing about the Gathering, but it will tie in, so just listen, or read...
Iím talking to this bitch on the phone a few weeks ago, and she told me that for some reason there was a giant fuckin' hot air balloon right down the street at the park by her house. She said they were selling rides in the balloon! I asked her if she was gonna go ride up in that bitch. She told me that she and her home girl were thinking about riding it but they decided not to and instead just went to her girl's house and got some lunch. I couldnít believe it, and you shouldnít be able to either, ninja, and I'll tell you why. Going to her home girlís house for some lunch is an event that will live in her memory for about a day at the most and then be gone forever. Completely erased and forgotten, there for wasted time in my book. But riding that fuckin', fresh ass, hot, fuckin', hot air balloon would be something she will remember until her titties shrivel and drop. Tell me that ainít true, think about that. I mean yeah, we all gotta have lunch at the house sometimes, of course, every fuckin' day, but fuck that. When thereís a fuckin' hot air balloon down the street givin' rides out for 5 fuckin' bucks? Fuck lunch. I told her ass get the fuck up on that balloon and ride that bitch. She has thanked me for that ever since many times. Because they had a blast on that fuckin' hot air balloon, and if she hadnít of rode that balloon, what would that day have meant? In fact, look at the chain of events that led from her getting off her ass and getting on that balloon, itís even led all the way to you, right now hearing about it.
The point is, man, there were so many people there at the Gathering with no money or no nothing, they all too had a million good reasons of why they shouldn't of been able to be there, YET THEY WERE. I just believe there is no excuse not to be there, if youíre a Juggalo. Itís like the Mecca is to Muslims. Every real Juggalo must attend at least once in their lives. No excuse, and fuck you, Iím not talking about for our benefit, Iím talking about for YOURSELF. Thatís why I say sneak in that outdoor BYATCH! How hard is it to sneak outside? Iíll bet that everybody that went will remember that shit forever and ever and ever. Ask them, any one of them. Now ask yourself, what you did last weekend, and how long you'll remember that for. If it was something fresh then thatís the shit for you. EVERYDAY WE WRITE OUR OWN HISTORY. MAKE IT A FRESH ONE NINJAS. GIVE YOURSELF SOME SHIT TO LOOK BACK UPON. CREATE YOUR LIFE STORIES. THE STORIES YOU'LL TELL YOUR KIDS LATER. It's all happening right here and now. Fuckin' your "SOMEDAYĒ is today and itís about to be yesterday.
Back to the Gathering, There was a giant movie theatre screen set up in the middle of a field right in the middle of the mother fuckin' forest. It was like a drive-in movie, only ninjas were just walkin' in. They were all lying on the grass or sitting on lawn chairs, watching me and Joeyís old home movies. It was fuckin' incredible. I didnít even find the movie theatre spot until the very last day! There was about 100 ninjas just chillin' and watching. Nestled off with each other. All laughing, drinkin', smokin', Q'in.
Then there was JCW wrestling everyday too. Fuck that yall, Lenny Lane is the fuckin' shit. HE AINíT REALLY GAY YALL, I hope the fuck yall know that. He is the shit is what he is. He puts on the funniest show, and he's one of my favorites. I had the most fun at JCW wrestling everyday. I always get the hot tag because Iím the gumpy guy and Joey is the way better wrestler, so he does all the real work during the matches. I just do the basic beginnings and endings fat kid style. I am the master of receiving the fresh ass hot tags.
HOT TAG: When during a tag-team wrestling match, the one guy is getting his ass beat throughout the match (Shaggy). He keeps trying to tag out to his partner, only he keeps just missing. Finally, in the exciting climax of the match, he tags to his fresh partner (me) who comes in full of life and action and saves the day.
Then I come bustin' into the ring with my fresh ass clotheslines and hip toss spectaculars. However, I did bring back my moonsault flip, only I missed my target by about 3 feet too far. Wrestling was fuckin' fun as hell this time for some reason. Maybe because Iím not hurt anymore! In fact, I remember in one of my old weekly freeklies that I was saying that Iím on the return! Well I'm all healed up now. I did not like the wrestling school though and it wonít be back next year. But we had major fun in our matches. We even tag-teamed with the JCW World Champion Nosawa. He was the shit. Backstage, he gave me and Shaggy two of his traditional wrestling masks that he wore in Japan and Mexico. He's the world champ and me and Shaggy of course are the tag champs. We always win because were the bookers. That means we decide who wins and loses the matches because we own JCW. We donít even bring the tag belts to the ring anymore, we keep Ďem at home in the glass, because we always win in the end.
It was the shit hangin' out with Vanilla Ice again too, thatís my dog. We was whilin' out on a golf cart together and eating some cheeseburgers at a campsite full of Juggalo homies. I was going crazy on that golf cart; he was scared for real.Thatís my homie, Vanilla Ice, and he fuckin' rocked that shit too. We also went whilin' on the carts with the Kottonmouth Kings. D Loc is my homie, me and him was having big fun on that bitch. Iím trying to tell you guys it was so much fuckin' fun on them carts my cheeks were sore from smiling so much.
And the fuckin' Rudy Boy, holy shit. That ninja didnít stop. It was almost like he was hosting 4 or 5 events at once. I could hear Rudy on the mic from some stage somewhere, the same time I was talking to him in my trailer! He was hosting shit all day long and deep into the night. Then he'd ninja off into the woods and host parties out there until the sun came back up. He was the star of the party every night. Everybody loves Rudy. His wrestling career is really on the up and up too. He's always off fuckin' wrestling and bleeding someplace. His forehead is starting to look like hash browns.
It was all so much fun, until it happened yall. Late Sunday night it happened. The last night of the Gathering. It was the attack of Bushwick Bill yall. Holy shit. It happened to me. Before I tell you the story, just know this, I love Bushwick Bill, I mean I never met him before but I'm a huge fan. He is a legend, but he's also the fuckin' shit right now. I met him and we talked for about an hour. To the best of my assessment, he is about 30% absolute genius and 70% mad man. For real though. All the time, 24/7. Itís not just an act at all. He's crazy as all hell. He's nuts. But he's the shit and he's awesome too. But on that last night man, after the show, word has it that he took some mushrooms (speculation), and then he took some more mushrooms (more speculation). Next thing I knew he was running around in the woods telling people he was God. And I know yall seen him out there too so donít front. He's small but he ainít hard to miss. He's the midget with the bullet hole for an eye and dreadlocks. Thereís not to many of them walking around wielding a skull stick out there. Bushwick, like everybody else got a little too high and drunk a few times, but that only shows you he's one of us.
The one thing I DIDNíT LIKE was the fuckiní lame ass rap group that Bushwick brought out on stage all the sudden right after his set was done. They really REALLY have a lot of balls stepping on that stage like that at the Gathering of all places, on the last day, right before ICP. Thatís not the only reason they got booed off though, the other reason being they fuckin' sucked. One minute Bushwick is up there turning it out, and next thing you know, all the sudden thereís some Fat Kid with Deadlocks and red face paint walking around on stage! Them fucks got what they deserved sneaking up on our stage. The only way you play the Gathering is when youíre asked too, and the Juggalos never asked them for shit except TO GET THE FUCK OFF! BOOOO!
But late that night, late, late, late as hell that night, like about 6:30am LATE, IT WAS THE ATTACK OF THE EYEBALL. Iím passed the fuck out in the little back room, in the back part of the camper trailer thing. The first time I'd slept in about 30 hours. Just me and this bitch. Alone. She's naked. We're both K.O.'d. I couldnít be any more asleep. Iím so deep asleep; Iím damn near in a coma. And then in my dream, I start to hear some banging noises that are interfering with my pleasant dreams. I'm heavily asleep so in my dream I'm hearing this banging noise for like 5 minutes, maybe fuckin' longer. Maybe 10 minutes of some bangin' noise it seemed like. It's getting louder and louder and then I hear a voice.... "Auuuugg, arrrrrrgggg, AUURRRAAAG!" That voice... That so fuckin' familiar voice.... Wait, I know that voice, that's that "this year Halloween fell on a weekend" voice. Only I canít make out what the fuck he's saying. What the hell does AUURRRAAAG mean? Wait a minute, I start to realize that he's not saying anything coherent at all. I finally put it all together in my sleep, and quickly pry my eyelids open and HOLY SHIT. Itís him! Bushwick mother fuckin' Bill is INSIDE my dark ass, tiny ass, little room banging on my wall, about a foot away from me, looking right at me with his bullet hole eyeball!
AHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK MAN!!!!!! I jumped up outta bed, shirtless I might add, SHIRTLESS!!!!!!! Bushwick Bill seen me shirtless somehow! My pale ass chest lit the room up and I could see him clearly. It was him, eyeball and all, drunk or high as fuckin' all hell. It was him, skull stick and all. I screamed at him while getting dressed, Superman Phone booth speed style. "What the fuck are you doing in here man? Get the fuck outta here dog! How the fuck did you get in here anyway ninja?Ē
"I need to talk to Rob Bruce"... Thatís all he would say. Over and over again and then he sat down on the floor and wouldnít move. I ran out there and much to my fuckin' surprise, I seen 3 fuckin' dumb-asses dressed up as Juggalos chillin' there in my trailer with him! ďWhat the fuck is going on up in here man?Ē I screamed. ďYall need to get the fuck outta here man!Ē
"Bushwick is lost and stranded," one of the dumb fucks said. I'm thinking, so they came and got me outta bed? ME? Millions of Gathering workers are all outside with fuckin' all kinds of CB radios and yellow staff jackets on, walkin' and riding around everywhere on golf carts right outside my trailer, but they had to come and get Violent J for some reason.
Bushwick's stranded? What!? Fuck that, GET OUT! Bushwick's got MAD, MAD People with him. His fuckin' backstage, all access pass guest-list was like 25 fuckin' people deep. Where the fuck are they? Where's the fuckin' fat kid with the dread locks and red face now? Where the fuck is his ass when you need him? GO BREAK INTO HIS FUCKIN TRAILER, WAKE HIS ASS UP WITH THAT SKULL STICK! GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!
He finally got home and itís all good.
He says he wants to do an album with Psychopathic Records, well we'd do that shit any day, but he can't bring the fat kid with the dreadlocks and red face with him. He's gotta stay home from now on.
Chillin' with Twiztid as much as we did was the shit. We even laid the blue prints for another Dark Lotus album. We went riding with them all the time at night, every night, and there show was so off the fuckin' hook. But what was really off the hook for me was Dark Lotus. We rocked the fuck outta that shit. We all took our masks off at the end. Because it was nuttin' but family around there anyway. All off in the woods, together, a big ass family reunion.
Then the Burning man was my highlight of the whole weekend. Saturday Night, at midnight, thousands of Juggalos crowded all around the big ass lake and it was the coolest shit I ever seen (besides 5,000 lighters held up at the end of Twiztid's show). It was dark as hell out there, and only the stars lit the sky. You couldnít see the Juggalos across the lake because they were too far away, but you could here a constant cheer from the 1,000's all around and you could see the hundreds of tiny camera flashes going off all around the dark lake. Then the guy suddenly came out on the island in the middle of the lake completely on fire and started running all around the island. In the middle of this big ass lake surrounded by cheering Juggalos in the night and camera flashes in the dark, is this guy running around this little island on fire. Then everybody started chanting "Jump in! Jump In!Ē After about 4 minutes, he finally dove into the water. It was fuckin' fresh as hell. And speculation and rumors have it that the burning man was Jumpsteady. But thatís only speculation at this point.
Ninjas were parachuting into the Gathering all weekend. They were jumping outta funny lookin' biplanes and everything. There were news helicopters hovering above all the time. Zug Izland could be found on the beach playing acoustic songs for mad ninjas around giant bomb fires. There was the Hatchet Rydas Car Club, The 303 Juggalos, Ninjas was swinging fire sticks, there was Giant Silva on stage with us, all the fresh ass groups that played on Thursday rocked that shit, The Miss Juggalette Pageant, The Neden Game, Zug Izland, fuckin' Blaze was back up in that bitch from outta the grave fuckin' rockin' the fuck outta that shit, Jumpsteady was up in that bitch rockin' that bitch with his little daughter Samantha rappin' up on stage with him, There was chicks mud wrestling, Rudy's late night dance parties, the mad amounts of Juggalettes, The bastard kicks and magic blunts during our wrestling matches, Anybody Killa riding around stealing ninjas beer, naked chicks with Juggalo signatures head to toe, I seen a giant dick walking around, fresh ass costumes, fresh ass campsites with creative ideas and shit, no faggot ass park rangers walking around, the fuckin' love was crazy. CRAZY I TELL YA. No haters! NONE! It was way too far for haters to come. It was in the middle of Nowhere, Ohio. Just us. Hotties were everywhere and ninjas was sharing, caring, and music was blarin', Bushwick' eye hole was glarin', rappers were swearin', voices were wearin', golf carts was cominí near and, there is no compariní, and every year man I hope we there man.
To all that were there, donít thank ICP for the Gathering, thank Rob and thank yourselves because it's like what' his face, oh, Russell Simmons said... A man is only as great as his company. So thank you all for making that shit so fuckin great for me. We in this bitch together and right about now we the shit yall. We far in the lead, we the only thing like us. Weíre the ones that just wrote 4 more days of freshness down in our histories at the Gathering of the Juggalos 2003.
Also, with us on that show will be Anybody Killa. During our set he's gonna come out and do a lilí something, native-style. This tour is gonna be our biggest and best yet. Anybody Killa news... He is fresh off the Ice-T Body Count tour and straight to the studio. His shit is on the come up yall. He's about to premier his very own Internet show and all that. Itís called "ABK's ROAD FOOLS". There is some extra funny shit on there, including a live concert put on by his missing finger nub. Yes, I know it sounds to good to be true, but the one and only nub is in full effect, live in concert, on the first episode of Road Fools.
Lately I've been having fun hanging out with Esham and ABK on their tour with Ice-T. I liked to come out with them whenever I could. I went with them to Grand Rapids, Indianapolis, Cleveland, and a few other dates. I liked to come out and do Gang Related with Killa, and Sticky Itchy Situation with both ABK and Esham.
Ice T has got the shine hard yall. Look at his life man. He was a South Central Blood. He went into the military. He went to prison for 7 years. Became a rap star, movie star, rock star, man. That ninja is incredible. He's the shit.
The Esham album is just about complete. It features many songs that will take you right back to the birth of the wicked shit. It's got the Soopa Villainz, T & T, Twiztid, the entire group of Bone Thugs & Harmony, and everybody on it. Itís a great record. If yall liked P-P-P-POW, ya gonna love this. Esham is getting ready to shoot the first video for the album next Month and I wanna be in that bitch.
Some freshness on Zug Izland, they too are gonna be shooting a video for the song ďPrison SongĒ this month. And I'mma be in the video, off someplace, paintless. Now, yall know me paintless, millions of you have photos, but this is cool because you gotta try and spot me in the video. Itís gonna be really quick. Also, did you know that I'm on their CD cover paintless? That photo of the school class up in the corner is my class from way back when. Iím the only weird kid sitting all the way to the right. I'm the only ninja looking at the floor. Look for yourselves! Zug Izland also is stepping up their website with an Internet show as well. There shit is crazy as hell. Them guys do shows all over this bitch. They got spot shows from here to Guadalajara. Also look for the return of the Zug Izland Hotline featuring some craziness from Syn and Mike P.
My bookís out if yall wanna get that shit. Itís long, itís personal, itís the whole absolute true story of ICP. I myself have never been much for reading books, but if you like these Weekly Freeklies you might like the book piece. Itís got a lot of fresh pictures too. It took 31 years to write that byatch.
My EP Wizard of the Hood is also out and itís fresh just like I told yall it would be. I know it's missing the booklet with all the comic freshness that I promised last time, but thatís just because we never had time to finish it with the tour date extensions we kept putting on the Shangri-La Tour. It's all good, the visuals are right there in your head when you hear it anyway.
Me and Shaggy have been puttin' it down for Hell's Pit and its sounded pretty fuckin' wicked. Mike P, Shaggy and Esham have been providing tracks so far. Fritz the Cat's been in the secret lab preparing some tracks for it as well so, get ready to get bloody yall, cause itís gonna be wicked. Expect Monoxide to appear behind the boards on this one too. His tracks are always the shit.
They had this giant festival there where everybody goes into the water of the ocean and dips into it backwards a bunch of times. They say it cleanses your soul. So we went out there and schooled it at midnight along with the hundreds of thousands of others that all turned out for the event. Fireworks were going all off in the sky. Man. We just happened to be staying there, at the hotel on the beach, we didnít even know it was gonna happen. We were just in the right place at the right time I guess. Even on the way there to Puerto Rico, we stopped in Florida to see some wrestling. And we happened to be in the right place at the right time, there too. There was a mini-gathering going on and we just happened to be there! No lie! NO FUCKIN LIE. We happened to walk right into it. Me, Rudy and Esham. It was incredible. We all sat and watched the wrestling together, us and about 30 fresh ass Juggalos and shit. See how shit works out? I know yall find that hard to believe, but Iím telling you, we just happened to walk right into a legit, mini-gathering! What were the chances of that happening? That shit was the bomb.
WRESTLING FANS... We GOT A LIVE JCW EVENT ON THE WAY!!! PLUS NINJAS IN ENGLAND, Here is your chance to see the aerial super sensations ICP in live wrestling action for the first time! Thatís right yall! Not only do we have a US JCW shows coming up this month, but also a rare ICP EURO Wrestling match as well! Iíll let Rudy tell yall about them right quick!
ĒWhat up ninjas! Itís the one and only bleeding king of hardcore here just droppiní you a little flavor for you about some up coming wrestling stuff by ICP and JCW. First, JCW will be doing another Stranglemania live on Thursday August 28th 2003 at Harpos Concert Theatre in Detroit, MI with all the stars of JCW such as: JCW World Champion Nosawa, JCW World Tag Team Champs ICP, the returning SABU, "Alpha Male" Monty Brown, Lenny Lane, 2 Tuff Tony, and many others of JCW. Then, on September 9-10, we (Rude Boy & ICP) will be off to Europe doing events for the Back Yard Wrestling video game. More info still to come on that event; keep checking the web and the hotline and we will let you know. For J`s Weekly Freekly this has been ĎKing Of Hardcoreí RUDE BOY.Ē
New Release Shit
Thatís about it yall. Iím all outta time. I gotta drive down to Cleveland to see ABK, Esham and Ice T. Iím outta this bitch like Bushwickís Eye. Peace and Much mudda fuckin Clown Love.
From ICP to your chin, Violent J.
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