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Violent J's Weekly Freekly — 2003, November, 22nd

Look man, I know I ain’t been updating my Weekly Freekly’s the way I should be, but you gotta understand, when you’re an international baller, like Uncle Joe here is, things can get kinda hectic. But I’m back now and I made this issue extra long and it’s packed with tons of boring-ass information. It’s so fuckin' long that we’re going to release it on 3 separate days so that maybe you’ll actually read it all. I don’t know why my Freekly’s are so long now, instead of just writing shorter ones more often, I’m just stale, I guess.

Anyhoot, I’m just gonna rattle off my thoughts on this one, and it all might be a little unorganized and all that, but I got a lot to say. It’s been a long while.

First thing’s first. Congratulations to Esham the Boogie Man on the release of his LONG anticipated Psychopathic Records release, Repentance. Esham is my dog, and I’m happy he’s doing so fresh these days. Him and the Rudy Boy went to the Source Awards, the American Music Awards, and all kinds of cool-ass big-time shit. He just shot a video, and his new single, Woo Woo Woo, is blowin' up in LA and Detroit. What’s fresh about Esham, is that Esham is Esham, and Esham does things his own way. He was ICP’s main influence, and he showed us how to put records out independently back in the day. Now, years later, to be putting out records together is the shizzy. Me and Shaggy are on about 3 cuts on the Repentance album. The record is really good and it don’t sound like our shit, or Twiztid's, or Killa's, or anybody's: It sounds like Esham’s shit. It sounds like Esham’s shit... the way Esham’s shit sounds TODAY. Because one day, all to soon, today's jams will be old school jams to us. So if ya down with today, get that shit.

Man, I really thought it would never happen. In fact I would’ve put my balls in a guillotine and bet it wasn’t gonna actually happen, but it did. The Wicked Wonka Tour. Holy shitty ass, that shit was fresh as fuck. You know who was there? Fuckin' Tech N9ne was there. I’m a fuckin' straight up fan of his. His shit is so fuckin' dope, that if you thought I had a big forehead before, you should see me now. I gotta turn around to show you my hairline. His show straight up pushed my wig back. My shit is like Hulk Hogan’s hair now. Tech N9ne and his boys, Big Chris Kalico and Kutt Calhoun, fuckin' rocked that shit every night. I didn’t really know shit about them until the tour. That shit was hella DOPE. They wear all red, and dance in unison, and fuckin' Tech N9ne can rap a fuckin' hole in your head. Man, I’m tryna tell ya they shit is dope. They got their own whole world of fans and I’m helluva one of ‘em now, fuck that. They are the bomb.

And you know it was the shit to be back out with the Kottonmouth Kings again. This time, though, we all were a few years older and we really clicked hard. We all got along and had Bar-B-Q's and fuckin' hung out at tittie bars and all that. Their show is hella tight and aside from all the Juggalos who love them they drew the most fans on the tour. I seen tons of hot-ass bitches with KMK tats on they lower backs, and skimpy-ass KMK shirts on all kinds of fat titties, fake titties, little titties, crooked titties, missing titties, wooden titties, iron bulletproof titties and all that. Kottonmouth Kings draw more lil’ hotties than Justin Timberlo.

Man, we went camping with the Kottonmouth Kings in the desert one day on a day off in, I think it was New Mexico, and we barbecued and all that. It was cool as fuck because it was just us and them talkin' all night around this big-ass campfire. We were smoking their crazy-ass weed called Lemon Weed or somethin’. That shit was the surface-to-air missile bomb. And we all told tour stories to each other all night and shit. We got hella cool with their homies, the Tax Man and Judge D, and me and Johnny Richter really got hella tight. Me and him hit up tittie bars together many nights on the tour. Their whole crew was hella cool: There wasn’t one guy with ‘em, I didn’t like. The freshest thing about the whole tour was the Karma and the family-ass feeling of it all. Everybody was just walkin' all up in each other’s busses like they were yours. Everybody was hella close. Nobody was a star. It was all a big-ass traveling family on 5 big-ass tour busses. We were the “Underground Night Train,” bringin' 4 hella dope, diverse, and very unique-sounding styles of fuckin' hard-ass rap music right to your fuckin’ face piece. But I cannot lie, for me personally, the freshest thing about the tour, was hanging out with Bone Thugs ‘n’ Hennessy, I mean Harmony.

Man, listen Juggalos, listen to me. I am about to tell you something very fresh… something that to me, very honestly, was the shit. I got to go to some Bone Thugs ‘n’ Harmony after-parties and straight up, I lived the life of a fuckin' true rap star for the first and probably last time of my life. I’m talkin' cameras flashin' all up in the club, VIP Room with bottles of $200 champagne and fuckin’ Hoes EVERYWhere. And there I am Fuckin' Chillin' Hard as fuck with Grammy-winnin’-ass Bone Thugs ‘n’ Harmony.

Fuckin' listen to me. I have been a fuckin' huge NWA Fan my whole life, Easy E was my fuckin’ hero, and when he put Bone Thugs out back in the day in like ’95, I was right there lovin' that shit. For real, me and Rudy were bumpin’ that shit hard as fuck in the Side Kick back during the Riddle Box Era. And we never stopped. Man, I've been a big fan of theirs from the start. But that was it. I never would’ve dreamed I’d be fuckin’ chillin’ with them up in a fuckin’ VIP fuckin’ club party.

You gotta understand. ICP and our crew don’t live like that. We gotta lay low for the most part. Man, I’mma keep it real. It’s getting harder out there, man. A lot of people don’t like us. Yes, Juggalos love us harder than any band has ever been loved, but the rest of society seems to fuckin’ hate us. The press and TV sometimes hit us hard, and we’re always going on Howard Stern and pickin’ fights, and that’s all on TV with repeats. So when we go out in public, we sometimes come across a lot of drunk-ass fools tryna test us and shit. We sometimes gotta crack a lot of heads and I hate that shit. I’m tryna see some positive vibes these days.

But big stars that sold 35 Million records, and have had number 1 fuckin’ hits like Bone Thugs N Harmony, though? They live large as fuck. Them guys get booked by club owners and promoters and shit, and actually get fuckin’ PAID just to show up at some off-the-hook-ass downtown club for what they call an “official” after party! They just sit around talkin’ to hoes and getting paid for it. Do you see what I’m typing to your eyeballs? They get fuckin' PAID to go clubbin’. What the fucking fuck? When I first learned that it fuckin’ blew my brain out, I had to scrape it off the wall with a spatula and stuff it back in my ear whole. I was like what the fuck?

Man, me and my boys can't even damn near show up at a club; we’re the WORLD’S MOST HATED BAND. Man, we don’t even make it in the door. I might be trippin’ but the few times we try to hit a club after a show, the dress code sends us home and the bouncer could give a fuck less who we are. Bone Thugs get paid to party. That’s fuckin’ fresh as fuck and guess what yall… I was right there hound doggin' the fuck out of ‘em, at least 3 nights a week. Believe it.

Because there was so much love going around between all 4 bands on Wicked Wonka, we all decided to do the song Thug Pit together and together we pressed ‘em up and gave ‘em away to the 3000 Juggalos at Hallowicked 2003. That was also the last night of the tour. During the tour, we recorded that song right there on Bone’s tour bus and on our tour bus, on some travel studio shit. It was recorded and worked on all over the country. It took a while to get everybody on it. But it’s the shit, though.

Then came Hallowicked. Man, that was some bomb-ass shit, I don’t know how yall felt, but we fuckin’ loved that shit. The entire venue was decorated in Halloween shit. The Wicked Wonka set was all hooked the fuck up Halloweenish with dead bodies and pumpkins everywhere. It was so fuckin’ dope. Bone Thugs, all 4, wore orange Hallowicked jerseys.

The crowd was only the most die-hardest of Juggalos. From everywhere in the country, even some from Europe and Australia. There was scary music being played between the groups and it was all tinted with red and orange lights all throughout the whole venue. It was a fresh-ass warm day in Detroit too, so nobody almost died from hypothermia. It was mad perfect. Shaggy was all doing moonsaults and swan dives off the speakers. I was taking baby bitch leaps from the stage. Juggalos in the far up balconies was getting Faygos launched at them from the stage. Good times, good times. At the end, everybody on the tour hit the stage and wild out with us for the last track, The Unveiling. The whole crew from all busses was all up there, and there was 5 times the confetti and glitter (that everybody hates, ‘cause it gets in your eyes). Man, the Dark Carnival was everywhere you turned.

It was the hottest ticket in town. It sold out with the quickness well over a month in advance. We even had a fresh-ass after party of our own that night; a fresh place called IROC on Detroit East Side. The whole tour came through there, too. Everybody showed up for that. Zug Izland played live and it was the shit there, too.

What a bomb-ass day; earlier in the day we had 2 shuttle busses bring everybody on the tour, and all the bands to Psychopathic Records to check our lil' complex all out. We had a bunch of food all set up for everybody. Everybody on the tour came through. It was the shit, man. What a great, great-ass day. Sayin’ goodbye to everybody on the fresh-ass Wicked Wonka tour sucked, but it had to happen. What a bomb-ass deal that was. I’ll never forget it, ever. I just wish I would've gotten some fuckin' neden that night, that’s all.

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