AffiliatesFav LinxSiteRingAdd-A-Link ‡ Leave Ya Mark ‡ ForumsE-Card


DonateDiluted ThoughtsWebStoreTeam CJCtrl+D online

Violent J's Weekly Freekly — 2003, November, 25th

I had to sock a ninja up at this lil’ weird-ass all nightclub that we went to after a hype ass lil’ concert we did in Tilberg, Holland. This place we were at was the shit, though. It was just a gutted-out house. The walls were all painted and colorful, and all they had was some cheap-ass color lights, like the kind you can get in Spencers in the mall, some cheap-ass strobe lights and a DJ where the TV would normally be. It had an upstairs with different music, different DJ, and a basement with slow music, but it was all within some fuckin' ninjas house. Each floor had a lil’ bar built and they were sellin’ liquor by the mega-ton truckload. I thought whoever lives here is the shit because he turned his house into a fuckin' every night party, and gets nothing but fat fuckin’ paid for it. That’s fresh to me.

So anyway, we were in this lil’ house club, and I was tryna spit game to this Dutch lil’ hottie, and this half-gay ninja just slid his skinny ass right into the 1 foot space in between me and the chick! He started talkin’ to me, “Sdrae jdsh pefh?” (In some other language). Like the girl I’m kickin’ it with wasn’t even there, like she was just a pillar holding up the roof or something. I kindly pushed him outta our space with my arm like, “Hey brother, slide your lil’ frail ass back on outta our space homie.” This next part really don’t make no sense at all… I go downstairs to piss and he follows me down the steps and tries to join me in the little-ass, one-man bathroom. I shoved him out like, “Fuck outta here!!!” and slammed the door. As I’m pissin’ I’m thinkin' about it, and getting more and more pissed so I come back outta the bathroom and there he was, sittin' on the steps waitin' on me. What the fuck?? That was it, I had to sock his face up a few times. Ry-Ry seen me and pulled me off ‘em, but I got some solid-ass cracks in on his face. That was fresh. I needed to vent, badly. I don’t know what the deal was. I don’t know if he was a confused, a drunk homo, or what, but fuck that. I had to serve him up a 2 piece and a biscuit. That was pretty much the only drama we had on the whole tour, though.

It really sucks that Anybody Killa is stale and couldn’t get his passport back in time to go and do the Europe tour with us like he was supposed to. Because of his problems with the law, they held back his passport. But as of the end of November, he’s good to go and he gets it back. Perfect, right after the tour’s over… Bastard. I love dissin' Anybody Killa because, in my eyes, he’s still the new guy. I don’t care how many tours he’s done. Until we sign somebody new, I’m fuckin' with Anybody Killa.

I didn’t really wanna finish the tour and come home, because I ain’t got much going on at home these days. So I stayed out here in Europe, and all the rest went home. I’m in Bedford, England to be exact. What the hell am I doing chillin’ alone in Bedford England you ask? I’m watching the fresh ass, unbelievable start of Psychopathic Europe.
Psychopathic Europe…

Look, to me this shit overwhelms me, and is almost too much to comprehend. But it’s true, and it’s here. Man, Alex and his crew have somehow actually pulled off opening up a branch of Psychopathic Records in fuckin’ Europe. Fuckin’ Alex first sent Matt Lethal over here to scope things out and hire the Juggalo ninja help and also designate and find the building. A FUCKIN’ DOPE-ASS building it is, too! It’s just a little smaller than our American office, but it’s still a pretty good-sized lil’ building. Then Matt came home, and Alex sent mastermind ninja, Netmaster Gordon, over here to seize the fuckin’ operation, and set up business financially and officially. Brian (NMG) fuckin’ set up shop, and got all the new employees together and in line.

Their names are: fresh Young PeTer (Pronounced with a heavy “T”, British-style, of course), an Internet Ninja named Steve (who has long hair of splendor), and a ninja named Paul who raps too somehow. His rap name is A.T.F. Which stands for Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. The three things he likes, I guess. He was Jumpsteady's hype man at the London show that I was talkin' about. See?

There they are… 3 new Psychopathic Records Soldiers ready to school shit. Then you got the Psychopathic Records Warrior, Netmaster Gordon, arranging the camp, and the Don? Who has actually moved to Europe for the next year? Who else? Jumpsteady, my brother Rob. Fresh off the Wicked Wonka Tour where he once again did an infamous performance with us every night on stage as Evil Dead, he then came straight to Europe to head the office of our brand new Euro division.

It’s been in the works for 2 years or so now, and it’s now up and official. I had to come and see it getting started myself. I’m staying for a week or so. Its website and webstore officially kick off December 1st. It’s hotline kicks off December 1st, and is hosted by Young PeTer himself, (pronounced British-style). They got all the warehouse steady fillin’ up every day, more and more, with all kinds of New European-style Psychopathic Records gear that’s comin’ out. The new Euro shit is called StrangleWear, which is fresh as fuckin’ fuck. Plus, all the ninjas in Europe are gonna be able to cop all the American shit mad easy now as well, through the new store over here. And it ain’t gonna be this “ICP comes around Europe once every 5 fuckin’ years” bullshit anymore, we’re here steadily now, byatch.

Everybody from the Hatchet Fam is headed over here (remember, I’m typing this from Bedford, England, in the very office of freshness). We plan for the whole Hatchet Fam to have all toured Europe within the next year or so. And having done in-stores and all that fresh shit. Especially Anybody Killa. He’ll have been here 19 times. He’s gonna do a tour in fuckin’ Uganda if I get shit my way. That bastard.

There’s even gonna be a European Psychopathic Records Christmas Party this year, and all kinds of dopeness. These fuckin’ people of Bedford, England don’t know what the fuck hit them when we go out. We walk in the “pubs” and we straight up, put shit on pause. It’s like the Matrix with we hit the room. We’re all these tall ass gangstas draped in black leather Hatchet coats and big blingin’-ass Hatchet charms. They damn near drop their teacups.

I don’t really know what’s happening anymore; I just know that we’re the shit. Fuck, man. Alex and them are the shit man; Brian and Rob and them. They’re building this shit from scratch. I’m talking from scratch. They’re painting walls and building shelves until the late night like everyday over here. And it’s all almost complete. It’s steadily getting doper and doper. I even heard Rob on the phone with the winners of a contest held at this year’s Gathering where the prize was Winner gets a free Trip to Psychopathic Records Europe. Rob was arranging the trip with the winners; that’s how official shit is around here.

Man, one more thing about the tour in Europe. One day when we were in London, my homie Ry-Ry told me that a guy walked up to him out of the complete blue and called him a fag. Ry-Ry was stunned. The ninja just called him a fag. What the fuck. Yes, Ry-Ry has long beautiful hair, gently washed and healthy-looking, much like a young woman’s hair, but he’s no fag. Ry-Ry then said, “What the fuck did you say to me?” And the guy said, “Fag, FAG! Do you have a FAG?” Ry-Ry was like “What the fuck???” then he figured out the ninja was asking him for a cigarette. They call smokes “Fags” over here. Go fuckin’ figure.

All this craziness is a lil’ hard to swallow at once for me. It’s better for me to get used to everything in intervals. Last night I almost had to slap this dude’s head with a beer bottle. I’m sittin’ there at a table in this “pub” as it’s called over here, and this dude suddenly slides in right next to me and says “'ello mate? You’re the rap star geazer, are ya?”, and then straight up attempted to twist my fuckin’ nipple piece. I ain’t even playin’; all within’ 3 seconds time. The ninja was just gonna casually give my pepperoni a lil’ turn. My ninja reflexes quickly batted his hand off me, and rose a bottle with my other, steady ready to rack it off his forehead. “What the fuck you doing man??” I screamed, “You tryna die, man? I’m about to bust your fuckin’ head!!” He started trippin’ on me and he was like, “No, no, please, that’s just a way we say hello here in England.” Don’t believe the hype though, because that ain’t how they do things here. Because the 3 new Psychopathic Soldiers we hired, all from England themselves, deny those allegations.

Twiztid is finishing up their massive Green Book Tour as well, pretty soon. ABK has a new release on the way, something die-hard ABK Fans will love to get their claws on. Zug Izland is back in the studio full time these days, working on their follow up to their debut album, Cracked Tiles. This new album, Zug Izland are fully writing and producing themselves. They been working around the fuckin' clock on it. Look for Esham to be hitting the road next in support of Repentance.

As for us, our very next future plans are to work shit out with Canada and take whatever steps we need to in order to get over there and tour. We’re gonna do whatever it takes to make it happen. And then we’ll really be officially official.

By the way, If you really wanna get schooled and hear some truly wild shit, pick up the new Paris album. It’s out now and it’s his most hardest album he’s ever done. If you ain’t hip to Paris, just check it out and get schooled. Yall heard him on Anybody Killa’s song Ghetto Neighbor and if you check out his new full-length album, you’ll get your domes peeled. It's crazy what he says. The new album is called Sonic Jihad and the cover of the CD is a plane crashing into the White House. It’s some deep shit Paris kicks. Man, all I did was send him an email and I had an FBI helicopter following me for a week afterwards. Unless you’re scurd, take your brave asses to: and peep that shit.

It’s been a long time on the road now for me. We did a lot of fresh shows and parties. But there is much more work to be done. Including the recording of the new Dark Lotus album, in January. And the last of the last, for the Joker’s Cards, Hell’s Pit. So, I’m going home in a few days, now. I’m going to rest my balls and let them gently float in my tub. You know, just relax, do some yard work, smoke some weed, you know, chill. Hit the old joggin’ path, look for Hatchet signs in the crowd on wrestling (like fresh-ass Canadian did a few months back. They schooled it hard as fuck.)

Maybe me and Shaggy Balls will join TNA-NWA Wrestling every Wednesday night from Nashville, and help an old friend and a new friend beat some ass, maybe… Wrestling fans you know what I mean…

Yeah, it’s gonna be fun as hell back home, too. We gotta keep shinin’. Plus, I miss the fuck outta my 3 Dogs. It’s been a long lil’ minute for us out here and it’s time for me to head back. For now, I’m Violent J and I’m signing off from the fuckin’ land of the Queen: Bedford, England. I’m out like Eminem’s secret Racism tape. Peace.

Violent J

2003-2158 © ClownicusJuggamus.Net | page-loads. since Dec '03 | hosted by 1&1