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Violent J's Weekly Freekly — 2004, July, 1st

Miscellaneous babbling and fresh news mixed all in one! (Part 2)

So anyway I’m typing this right now from LA. Right before we came here we flew to San Francisco to do a press day for the new Back Yard Wrestling game that’s comin’ out. It’s called "Back Yard Wrestling 2 - There Goes the Neighborhood". We really like the ninjas at Eidos, who make the game. They’re fuckin’ cool ass people to us. The guy that brought us in is named Kevin Gill and he’s a long time Juggalo. Like 10 years or so, for real. Now he makes video games for a living and that’s how we got in the game. Juggalos hookin’ up other Juggalos... seriously fresh.

This promotional press event shits in San Fran was crazy fresh though. All in one day at a club they had it set up so cool. We did 3 photo shoots, we fuckin’ wrestled a match, we did a short 10 minute set on stage, and we did about 15 interviews for various video game magazines and TV shows from all over the world. All for press people and their homies. No tickets were for sale. It was weird but fuck man it was still a fun ass day. The second Backyard Wrestling game schools the first one in my opinion. It has way cooler sets to fight on, and our voiceovers are way fuckin’ better. Rude Boy is back in it, Mad Man Pondo’s in it, Vampiro is in it, you can make Anybody Killa and Twiztid, Psychopathic is all over the soundtrack. The only thing that’s stale is there’s no Evil Dead this time. The freshest thing is for some reason in BYW2, Shaggy’s guy is all thick and buffed the fuck out. It’s funny as hell. The game ain’t coming out until like October, but when it does, cop you one from the mall or something, however you get yours, just get one. It’s well worth it.

The match we had that day was the shit. They had the ring set up outdoors and it felt cool and perfect outside. Mad Man Pondo was in the house, Kool Keith was there and he did a set on stage. Vampiro was supposed to be there but the ninja missed his flight. Damn.

Our match was tight. It was ICP vs. The Psycho Surgeons. Who the fuck are the Psycho Surgeons you ask? We made them up the night before. The Psycho Surgeons was really just 2 Tuff Tony and Corporal Robinson all dressed up in crazy doctor suits and mask. We had them wrestle as The Psycho Surgeons so that they could have a mask on and we wouldn’t have to straight up wrestle 2 JCW guys that everybody knows are really our homies and we hang out with ‘em all the time.

Why not just wrestle two other wrestlers instead of our homies? I’ll fuckin’ tell you why. Because all they’ll wanna fuckin’ do is this spot and that spot and this spot and all kinds of fuckin’ spots and that shits impossible for us to remember. I’d way rather just wrestle my boys and that way we can just do what ever the fuck we wanna do.

We call it "The Match". If you’ve ever seen us wrestle in JCW, then you’ve probably seen "The Match". Juggalos at the Gathering know "The Match" by heart now. You wouldn’t believe it. See, "The Match" goes like this...

The match starts, I’m in first. I beat the guy around until I run out of breath for real. Then I tag to Shaggy. Shaggy gets in and beats the guy with all kinds of tight ass looking’ moves, but then gets pummeled. And then he proceeds to get his ass beat for like 10 minutes, that’s when I start callin’ for the hot tag.

Then when Shaggy and the guy both clothesline each other at the same time, Shaggs slowly crawls over to me and HOT TAG! I come in the ring, A HOUSE OF FIRE! Rested and ready, I start beatin’ their asses. I clothesline the first guy, clothline the second guy, then hip toss the first guy, hip toss the second, then at that point I’m fuckin’ blew up and outta breath so I start lookin’ for Shaggy to tag again. Then tag to Shaggy and we nail "The Lotus Cross" which is our finishing move. "The Lotus Cross" is Shaggy’s top rope leg drop, followed by my big man moonsault. 1,2,3, Pin. We Win. That’s "The Match". That’s how we like it. Easy to fuckin’ remember.

And wrestling JCW’s 2 Tuff Tony and Corporal Robinson is always the shit, because it’s all based on fun and only fun. But we felt our big homie Lavel was all left out of the match and that sucked. So me and Shaggy brought Lavel out ringside as our manager. And he had in his grip... "The Mysterious Red Hot Hatchet Bag". Then we proceeded with "The Match."

The Match went normal as always but we swerved the crowd at the ending. We changed it all up fresh. During ICP’s Lotus Cross finish, just after Shaggy hit his top rope leg drop, I was headed up for my big man moonsault... Right then, suddenly Lavel, clocked me over the skull hard as fuck with the Mysterious Red Hot Hatchet Bag! He turned on us and joined the Psycho Surgeons!!! I fell backwards and got pinned. We lost. That was a fresh swerve. Even the referee was like "That was a fresh swerve, dude".

The whole BYW2 press day thing was the fuckin’ shit. What made it extra fresh was the fact that Andrew W.K. was the fuckin’ ring announcer! I’m not kidding. I’m not saying that it was some ninja with long hair that looked like him, I’m saying it was him. Andrew W.K. was the ring announcer. That was the shit, and he was good at it too.

Then we flew straight here to LA. The first night we got to LA, it somehow went down all over again. Lavel got a fresh phone call from Krayzie Bone of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony and we somehow got invited to his fresh ass birthday party at some club in LA called The Pearl. I couldn’t believe it. Everyone knows that we ain’t much for Hollywood VIP parties but this was Kray Kray’s birthday party and he actually invited us. That was the shit to us. They came by our motel first to pick us up and have a few smokes. They were like Woah! when they got there.

See our motel is a crack villa. I love it. This motel is frequented by crack heads, hookers, dope mans, gangbangers and all kinds of shit. But see, these places are where we feel right at home. When chillin’ in your room, on one side of you through the walls, you can hear people fuckin’. On the other side you can hear people being murdered. It’s perfect for us. Our motel is called "The MOTOR" and we’re right on Sunset Ave. Any hotel called the MOTOR ain’t shit, everybody knows that. But see the reason we like it here is because we’re staying here in LA for 5 days. And 5 days of keeping our noise down at night, and rolling up towels for up under the hotel doors, just to smoke a lil’ weed fuckin’ sucks. You ain’t gotta worry about any of that shit at The fuckin’ Motor. They encourage that shit. They got vending machines with sacks of weed in them. I couldn’t believe it.

So we go out to Krayzie’s party and it was straight VIP style. First off they walked us right in past all the people outside tryna get in. They pulled back the velvet rope and walked us in even though we all had on hats, shorts and gym shoes, we walked right up in that bitch, superstar style. I was just looking around tryna act cool, but was steady trippin’ out. Once they walked us into the club they took us straight up to the VIP. After about 5 minutes in there, they came and got us and took us up to yet another even more VI VIP. This was that OTHER, OTHER VIP. You could smoke weed up in this part and everything.

There was all kinds of celebrities up in there like Jermaine Dupre and mad basketball and football players all walking around, like BLAMMM here I AM!!! I was even wearing a jersey of one of the players who was there. I had a Lamar Odom jersey on and he was there lookin’ at me like I was gonna hound dog him or something. I didn’t even know who the guy was when I bought this jersey though, it just looked fresh, so fuck that. It was a bomb ass night, we did it up real big that night.

We cut out a lil’ early and caught a cab back into the reality of THE MOTOR MOTEL. Only because we had to get up mad early to put in work, because that’s what we came to LA to do.

OK Ninjas, I got some mother fuckin’ news. Some news that will snip off your wig like a helicopter blade. I’m talking about Hell’s Pit bitch, and how it will be comin’ out...

See, because we happen to be marketing geniuses... it’s going down just like this... Hells Pit will be available in 2 separate versions. BOTH versions contain the exact same Hells Pit album but they each come with a different DVD.

"DVDs? DVDs of what?" you ask, like a timid lil’ bitch... One version comes with a DVD of me and Shaggy’s entire Wicked Wonka Show as filmed live, bootleg style of course, at the world famous Red Rocks Amphitheatre in Denver, Colorado. This fresh version also comes with a brand new 10 minute music video that shows 1000’s of clips and highlights of ICP’s entire career. You gotta see this. As edited by Rye Rye the Fly Spy, himself. That’s right.

THE OTHER version’s DVD is a lil’ different. This one comes with a DVD of the brand new ICP video/mini movie called "Bowling Balls", which by the way is NOT A NORMAL VIDEO, no, no, NO it is not. Instead it is a 20 minute long, mini horror movie. BLOODY, BLOODY, HACK and STAB baby. This video is no mother fuckin’ joke hoe.

Oh and did I mention, the whole SHIT IS IN 3-D!!! That’s right ladies, horror shock rock style! 3-D byatches. Oh and don’t think the free 3-D glasses ain’t already included with the packaging because there in there byatch. It’s also on there in the non 3-D version as well. But just know that the new ICP video is 20 minutes of GORE and it WON’T be on MT fuckin’ V. But it won’t be hard to find though, cause it’s coming right at you packaged with HELL’S PIT.

So there you have it. Take your pick dick. Two versions both of absolute flavor for your whole head to enjoy.

ALSO!! Both versions of Hell’s Pit comes with a fat booklet that takes you back throughout our careers and counts down the Joker’s Card Saga for the retards that don’t get it. It’s like a fresh recap of them all for ya with fresh timeline photos, and all that good shit.

They both also come with another booklet containing the lyrics to Hells Pit! They each come with a DVD and 2 fuckin’ booklets! 2 BOOKLETS BITCH. That’s fuckin’ fresh bitch.

In fact, the new Bowling Balls video is the very reason we’re out here in LA right now. We’re about to start filming it. Tomorrow in fact. But it will be finished by the time you read this because each day of the video shoot, I will write a review on that day. Starting with day one. It’s a 3 day shoot. So the next time I type anything, it will be after tomorrow, a.k.a. the first day of the shoot. Peace.

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